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Thursday 8 September 2011

Colonic Enemas and Cleansing, do they Work?

The beauty and spa industry is late. Hollywood spas are making money out of colonic cleansing procedures, the headline said. I was raised under enema revolution in the early 60. It rained enemas left right and centre. It rained enemas in the middle of winter in the Sahara desert. Our mothers gave us enemas for sneezing. You could not have a headache, dyspepsia, sore throat or itch anywhere including your phantom limb and say it loud, you‘d be booked for the next enema.

We specifically organised ourselves to boycott the enemas as soon as we could utter our first comprehensible sentence. We knew it did not work as it made you sick to bone. It gave you hypokalemia resulting in generalised weakness and lassitude that is a well known medical effect of low potassium. The gradual recovery from this self induced complication is what we were supposed to celebrate.

To my mother’s credit, my sister in her late fifties was still using this method up to only a few months ago without anybody threatening her or dangling a carrot to induce repeats. It decreased the smell from the spontaneous farts that escape ones grip every now and then. It reduced the nausea that spontaneously builds up in people used to monthly cleansing. Further than this it’s all hot air; there are no advantages at all from a medical point of view, even though I have to fight to keep my wife from damning my kids to the same right of passage.

That it only gets discovered now from the latest medical journals that enemas are not helpful was concluded by three year olds kids under siege in 1964. The medical complications from the enemas in the form of perforations that usually gets mentioned were rare or unknown of, but we still hated the feeling of a foreign body being stuck in your behind. Men, including women don’t like the sensation and will postpone even a necessary once a year procedure like a colonoscopy till the cancer sprouts shoots from the rectum if they could.

Mothers know best is the saying. Kids sometimes do just as much I will add. Enemas don’t work at all, avoid them, they are dangerous to kids with gastroenteritis as they will dehydrate  them even further. The hypokalemia induced by gastroenteritis gets worsened by the enema as well. No enema, trust the latest study if you  won't trust me as a 4year old.

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